Web of Lies – Review by Martha A. Cheves, Author of Stir, Laugh, Repeat
‘The feelings of guilt and inadequacy came all too often. Of course, I considered ending the marriage. Thoughts of breaking free were frequent, usually at night when I was lying alone in my bed. But they’d quickly be replaced by the guilt. I genuinely believed that many of the problems we were experiencing were down to my own shortcomings. I’d get angry and frustrated with Bill, and I’d let my feelings show. I’d be grumpy and ratty. I’d nag him and complain about things. He would then feel ‘put down’ and ‘unappreciated’, which in turn lead to more self-reproach from my side. I’d often question him about his past, and this visibly frustrated him. To him, my questions showed that I didn’t trust him. And without trust, he’d said, we had nothing. I had to trust him. I had to put my faith in him, or we’d never get out of this mess. If I wasn’t standing by him, unquestioning and loyal, then I was exacerbating the situation for him, by undermining him. This in turn meant he was unable to ‘solve the issues’, and so the problem perpetuated itself.’
I don’t know the stats as to how many marriages end up in divorce but I’m sure they are extremely high. But there are still those marriages that probably should have ended in marriage and didn’t. I feel that most of these “sick” marriages are due to the wife and I’m sure sometimes the husband feeling that some, if not all problems have been caused by them. If I had only done this. If I had only been a more loving person. If I had only been more understanding. The ifs go on and on.
Even if divorce seems to be the only solution, many still have problems accepting the inevitable. They still feel they must take the full blame.
‘I’d been stripped bare. There was nothing left. I was functioning for the sake of my children, yet I was barely there as a person in my own right. I was losing control, and I saw no way of regaining my life. I wasn’t worthy of my children. They deserved better. I had brought this all on myself. I was being a victim. I lived to be a victim. I could never be a strong and beautiful person, because I was weak and pathetic. I’d allowed this to happen to me because of the type of person I was. I was looking for misery. I wanted misery. I must be craving it, and now the universe had delivered it. Misery. It was no more than I deserved.’
May of us go through bad marriages. I’ve been through a couple myself and as I read Web of Lies I found myself relating to Sarah’s life, feelings and self-disgust. If those of us who have been there will be honest with ourselves we can honestly say “been there, done that.” We find reasons to keep us in a “sick” marriage…kids, money, even not wanting to be accused of being a failure. But in the end, we are very possibly become a victim of a form of mind control.
In Web of Lies, Author Sarah Tate puts her own life out for public view. Throughout the book she expresses her self-loath and sees herself as a weak, pathetic person who deserved everything she went through. I personally see her as an extremely strong person. I can’t say how much I’ve enjoyed reading Web of Lies, not as one would enjoy a novel but as one would find while reading a book that seemed to really hit home for them in so many ways.
Review Stir, Laugh, Repeat at Amazon.com